If You Ever Mean To Grow

You give me feels
I tried to fight it
(Well sort of, okay- not really)
You see I rather like it (and you)
But I want to work
Toward something worthy
Of my devotion
And I want to thank
The universe
When you clutch me in your arms
And so sweetly fall asleep
So I do
As loudly as I can in my mind
Every time

But I'm
Starting to feel
More like an object of convenience
Than affection
This is not the direction
Of the road I wish to travel
I can't deny
Sometimes it's a fun ride
But I am thirsting
For the water of life
And you’re leaving my mouth dry
So don’t patronise
You know we both
Deserve better than that
Waste of life

Please take me to safety
Don’t take me for granted
My heart is weary yet warm
I've learned how to weather a storm
In one piece
To release
That which would scathe
Rather than soothe

So what I want to know
Is if you ever mean to grow
Light
To make it bright
With me
Mutually
Or am I truly only worthy
In your eyes
Of this dim sum
With which you now drain me?


© A. Bougie 8/21/2017