Recognize, Appreciate, Embrace (Spoken Word on Soundcloud)

Kinetic Bhakti

We keep things moving

While we

Bring illumination

To culmination

We see the

Simplicity

And recognize the beauty

We

Appreciate the splendor

Of breath

Of being

And seeing

We embrace

Experience

And say

Namaste

Nods

To all the Gods

Creating

The world

In their own image

Bringing the dreams

From thought

To life

We hold these

Truths

To be self evident

With each breath

We circumvent

The nothingness

The emptiness

Is filled

With knowledge

We build

We renovate

And extrapolate

The equation

Down to

Simple arithmetic

Down to

The brass tacks

Just the

Simple facts

Karma acts

As we will

Meditating

Still

Fate-ing

Rather than

Waiting

We climb

The hill

We reach

The plateau

And reflect

Seeing our visions

In retrospect

Awaiting spring

With streams flowing

Releasing

The knowing

We aspire

To take things

Higher

We fix

Our spiral

Into a

Double helix

We elevate

As we create

New levels of being

New approaches to

Self healing

Blissfully

Reeling

Feeling

Each moment

Honestly

Paying close attention to

Lessons along the path

Using our empathy

And forgiving wrath

We

Take the time to laugh

Always keeping humor

Well staffed

We don't allow ourselves to

Feel trapped

We

Open the door

And turn on the light

We

Believe things

To be

Eternally

Forthright

Our belief lights the way

Through the dark of night

We kindle

Our hearts

We keep the

Fires burning

With each smile and tear

We are earning

Our time

We synchronize

The rhyme

And flow

With the tide

Enjoying the ride

Downplaying our pride

Feeding the fire

Heating our bones

Casting stones

We count the cards

And tell

The fortune

Fated well

During our spell

© A. Bougie  (12/17/2007)
Photo Credit : Jean-Jacques David
*spell- in this poem references a duration of time, not a 'magic' spell.

A Lady with Needs

You think it’s cool
To be cold
Oh, well FYI—
It gets kind of old
I want loving arms to enfold
That I might not feel
So alone
But I can’t rely
On anyone
Except myself now babe
Sometimes I wish
I could stop wanting
All the love I crave

Yeah,
Maybe then I’d
Be fully satisfied
With the life I’ve made
Now I
Am full to the brim
Beside myself with a thirst
For love to flow in
But your floodgates
Are rusted shut

By your nose turned up

I am eschewed
For trying
To know you
For hoping
To have substance
Lord knows
All you want
Is what you see
A cute shakin’ ass
A hot little piece
You don’t want to know
A lady that writes
A lady that reads
A lady with needs
She fully intends to feed

Hey—
Just because I
Look hot
Doesn’t mean I ought
To give it up
To someone who
Won’t give me love
Now honey—
I’ve had enough
Late night calling
All your pawing
Doesn’t ease
My longing
‘Cause what I need
Is love
And you won’t
Give it up

Poem © A. Bougie (6/8/2009)
Photo © 2017 Liam Carleton - Liam Carleton Photography on FB

Losing my Mother - (Essay w/ poems: Shattered Remains & Peaceful Defeat)

I lost my mother the day before I turned seventeen. She'd had emphysema for years and had actually died and been resuscitated three times while in I.C.U. for six months when I was 12; at which time the doctors told her she'd be lucky to live a another year. She amazed them all and made it five. She was a fighter and possessed one of the strongest characters I've ever known.

Now I've been as long without her as I had with her, and still losing her is hardest thing I've ever been through, including my fathers passing from cancer last fall. He was nearly 69 (missed it by three days!) I was there with him when he died and he told me he was ready. She was 48 and I was not there, but I know she was not ready to go. She wanted to do and experience so much more and not having the breath available to be able to walk a block at the age of 40 stopped her. It hurts not having been able to say good-bye, and it hurts more to think of all she wanted and will never have, because she deserved so much better, so much more.

To this day it's difficult for me to watch people smoke cigarettes. I can't help but wish that they would never experience the outcome my mother did because of them. The eight years she lived in her 40's she was deprived of former abilities, in and out of hospitals and nursing homes, and in constant pain and agony I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. For a small example of this you can read Castle in the Clouds, a short memoir I wrote on living with my mother as her health deteriorated. It's so hard to watch people hurting themselves and not want to smack some sense into them, not violently, but with love. I want people to love themselves enough to know that they don't deserve a life like that and to be smart enough to take the proper precautions to try to avoid such possible calamity.

The two poems in this post are pieces that were written six months after losing my mother. I was a mess. I've since gotten far past this phase of grief they portray. It took time and gaining a more positive perspective. There are times it still hurts like hell and there are still days I still get hit by waves and cry my eyes out. My viewpoint has changed now though, and you can read Eternal Spirit for a taste of that outlook which is thankfully now filled with more gratitude than sorrow. 

Shattered Remains

Desecrate me, my love in death
Enrapture my whole being
With scathing, clenching misery
Leave my soul floating-
Desperate and lonely to freeze
Out lost in the
Extreme limits of outer space

Stuffing down the screams
That have collected in my throat
Questions never to be answered,
Love impossible to be requited
Tears spattering
Staining my mind

I can still feel the hole in my soul
Where all my pain slipped in
Half my reason for living is gone-
Will someone please
Kindly explain
How do I piece together
My shattered remains?

(© A. Bougie 5/14/2001)

Peaceful Defeat

How do I be rid of my sorrows?
Time, give it time,
Time to lay them to rest
Deep in my chest
Let it seethe and breed
Ripping apart my insides
Just to make room for the pain

Simply hold me
In your forgiving arms
I'll absorb the peace of your intentions

Never will I ever be able to forget
Numb is the closest I can now come
To a carefree existence
For the arms I wish to hold me
Are now packaged ashes

Although sometimes
I can feel a presence
Surround me
My physical need
Remains
Without hope
Lacking reassurance

Shuffling slower day by day
Attempting to push through
The bars of alienation
Forced solitude in my lonely cell

Shattered bits of memories
Stabbing repetitively in my mind
While they tell me of the peace I'll find
My strength is an articulate act
A play of pointless deceit
As I stand quiet alongside
Silent witness to the pitiful process
Of my own defeat.

(© A. Bougie 5/22/2001)

I was defeated, but As the Mighty Phoenix from those ashes I rose...

Intuition Echoes

Sitting silently I observe
The sensation of feeling
Without a word
Thoughts unheard


Intuition echoes
Resonation
In my chest
Nothing less
Than knowing
And oh how I know
The proper direction
I should go


Now I am facing
No more pacing
To and fro
Onward I go
To reap the seed I sow
No fear
It's clear
And coming quicker
As the plot gets thicker


I remember
The resonating
Echoes embracing
Emulating
Event horizon
'Cause I'm risin'
To the occasion

© A. Bougie - 8/2009