Decisions, Decisions

Wanting to make
The right choice
Decisions, decisions
Life altering options
How do I
Direct my
Self
To prosperity
To keep learning
To a love
That feels right
Satisfaction
In action
What steps
Must I take
To relate
Manifestation
Of all my marvelous dreams?

I keep looking
Within
Without
Wondering
Wandering
Willing the well
To water
My needs for growth
I suppose
It may be time
For change
To recognize
My powers manipulated
In ways understated
Freedom beckons
Though fearful
Of repercussions
Your discussions
Leave me drained

I can no longer
Contain
These thoughts
I am not
With whom I need to be
It feels wrong to me
I want to leave
I need my privacy
To sustain my energy
 
Daily
Rationalizations are rendered
Relentlessly
As I hurt you
As you hurt me
These negative vibrations
Reverberate dissonance
Through my being
When I long to be seeing
The light
I am left
In the dark of night

(8/31/2014)

Burnt Out

Burnt out
Before I begin
I can’t win
I back down
To end the argument
To stop the yelling
To get out the door
No more
Than half a hour late
No, I’m not quite sure 
That I can actually make
All my dreams come true
When daily this
Is what I have to go through

(4/27/2015)

Wildfires

Animated eyes

Dark and deep

Limpid pools of light

An alluded smolder

Previously contained wildfires

Burning full force

Breathing free

Air escapes through

Pursed lips

A propensity towards

Attraction

Magnetics pulling

The draw is clear

Come close now dear

Wildfires spread

As the wind wills

Light builds

Impacting vision

Eliciting the admission

Of shared ebullition

(2/15/2009) 

Absolute Astute (Spoken Word on Soundcloud)

Tell me things

I've yet to hear

Things have always

Been so very

Discombobulated here

Now I'm seeing

All the fortuitous

Coincidences 

Laid out in a line

On the path 

I've left behind

My pre-meditation

Was lacking

In retrospect

I reflect

Upon those

Past steps

As I tread new ground

I allow my

Creativity to abound

It's high time I

Came around

And use properly

The talent

I've found

Hope

I know I 

Can cope

No matter

What comes up

I've been through

Enough

To keep myself

Sane

I'll be the

Same

Person I always

Knew I was

No more wandering

Misleading trails

I've got more

Than plenty

Of those tales

To tell

Of the misfortune

That befell

My fate

I'm not too sore

As of late

As I'm still learning

More from before

How to refrain

Rather than

Maintain

Repeating those

Patterns

Reverse the spiral

Even if it takes

Quite a while

I'm quite sure I'll

Round this corner

An absolute astute

To my intuitive warner

© A. Bougie (11/30/2007)
Recorded live at Heads in Harmony Music & Arts Festival 2011

Turnstyle (Spoken Word on Soundcloud)

Tempting the turnstyle

With tokens for travel

Threadbare sweaters

I unravel

The mystery

Ahead of me

Taking notes

Holding hopes

Dreams with purpose

Remembering deeds

Creating the means

To manifest

My visions

Driving

With an even keel

Take to the feel

Of balance

Beams brighter

On high

Higher motivation

Heightened awareness

Infectious bliss

Beckoning

Reckoning

Righteously

What the

See-ers see

Inextricably

Connected

To the web

Woven

Basket - like

Holding us together

As we gather

Our minds

Preparing for times

Of change

For the world will

Re-arrange

Re-amend

Wrong-doings

To self preserve

And continue the

Learning curve

Turning in style

© A. Bougie (10/9/2008)
Recorded live at Harry's Harvest Ball 2014

Muting the Thoughts (Spoken Word on Soundcloud)

It's hard
To give up
What you don't
Want to quit
Even if it's
Substance-less
An empty hole
With an obvious exit
Put it down
And turn around
Walk on out
So strange
This change
Of perspective
Muting
The thoughts
That had directed
My day
My way
Of seeing
And perceiving
Wrongly
Misleading
Myself
In search
Or chase
Of someone else
Always barking up
The wrong tree
When what I need
Is to be free

© A. Bougie (8/14/2008)
Recorded live at Harry's Harvest Ball 2014

Stolen Grace (Spoken Word on Soundcloud)

Show me a picture of Christiana
I'll show you

Stolen grace

Show me that

Dancing, smiling

Goofy girl

That classic beauty

My dear departed friend

Josh Sleeper fell in love with

And couldn't live without

I saw him hanging 

In her conscience

As she spiraled out

And prayed for days

When she could

Walk and talk and laugh

Through fields of flowers

At peace again

With him

How could one deranged

On a whim

Suffocate 

Such an amazing spirit

As that funny girl

Full of life

We once knew

That brazen fearless woman

She grew up to be

I want her here now

She should be dancing

Right here beside me

Her brilliant smile

Warming those around

I remember her shining essence

And long for the grace of her presence

So show me a picture of Christiana

And I'll show you

Stolen grace

Show me that

Dancing, smiling

Goofy girl

That classic beauty

I remember her shining essence

And long for the grace of her presence

Show me a picture of Christiana

I'll show you

Stolen grace

In loving memory of Christiana Melusine Fesmire, taken too soon from this life, but always in our hearts.

© A. Bougie - June 2012
Photo Credit: KB Tindal